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ADHD Is Awesome by Penn Holderness & Kim Holderness

  • Writer: Allison Lloyd
    Allison Lloyd
  • Jan 2
  • 4 min read

I read it so you don’t have to (or so you can decide if it’s worth your time.)


If you (or your child) have ADHD, this book is validating, funny, compassionate, and surprisingly practical. It explains ADHD in a way that removes shame and reframes the narrative without sugarcoating the challenges.


I highly recommend reading it if you have time.But if you don’t have time, here are the most important takeaways you need to know.


Getting to Know ADHD (ADHD 101)


ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) is a chronic but manageable neurodevelopmental condition. It affects how the brain develops and functions; especially in areas related to:

  • Attention

  • Impulsivity

  • Hyperactivity

  • Emotional regulation

  • Executive functioning


One of the most important points in the book:

ADHD behaviors are involuntary.They are driven by brain chemistry: not laziness, defiance, bad manners, or poor parenting.

In fact, many people with ADHD can focus better than neurotypical people (as long as they are interested in what they’re doing.)


What ADHD Symptoms Actually Look Like

ADHD often shows up as:

  • Impulsivity (actions before thinking)

  • Trouble with organization, prioritizing, and time management

  • Difficulty starting or finishing tasks

  • Restlessness

  • Difficulty planning

  • Low frustration tolerance

  • Trouble multitasking

  • Emotional intensity


In stressful or overstimulating environments, these symptoms can feel deafening.


Important note for parents of girls:

ADHD in girls and women is often overlooked, because girls are socially conditioned to internalize struggles instead of externalizing them.


Executive Functioning (The “Inner CEO”)

Executive function is the brain’s management system. It helps us:

  • Prioritize

  • Regulate emotions

  • Track time

  • Make plans

  • Control impulses

  • Adapt to change

  • Focus

  • Store and use working memory

  • Set goals

  • Make decisions

The frontal lobe (which controls this system) is the last part of the brain to fully develop and ADHD directly impacts it.

The book uses a great analogy:

The ADHD brain is like a soundboard with too many channels playing at once.You need to know which knobs to turn up and which to turn down.


ADHD, Dopamine & Boredom

People with ADHD:

  • Pay attention to everything, not nothing

  • Crave novelty and interest

  • Struggle deeply with boredom

Boredom isn’t just unpleasant it’s physically uncomfortable.

Why?Dopamine (the brain’s “motivation” chemical) works differently in ADHD brains, making interest and stimulation essential for focus.


The Emotional Side of ADHD


ADHD is not just about attention, it’s deeply emotional.

  • Emotions are felt very strongly

  • Many kids grow up feeling like a “square peg in a round hole”

  • Shame often becomes layered on top of mistakes


The book references the Buddhist concept of The Second Arrow:

  • The first arrow = the mistake

  • The second arrow = shameThe second one causes the lasting wound.

This matters because around 40% of people with ADHD also experience clinical anxiety. Every parent with kids (or a partner) with ADHD should know this.


Changing the Narrative

One of the most powerful messages in the book:

A diagnosis is not a criticism.It’s a description.

ADHD is not something you chose and therefore not something you should feel ashamed of.


The authors encourage us to stop treating ADHD as a flaw and start recognizing it as a different operating system with real strengths.


The Authors Suggest Reframing Labels:

  • Hyper → energetic

  • Easily bored → hungry for novelty

  • Troublemaker → fun

  • Impulsive → creative

  • Risk-taker → brave

  • Overreacting → sensitive

  • Non-compliant → independent thinker

  • Distractible → curious

  • Sloppy → big-picture thinker

Why be cookie-cutter when you can be a one-of-a-kind human?







The Right Stuff: What Actually Helps ADHD


Improving ADHD symptoms is not quick or linear. It requires patience, trial-and-error, and ongoing adjustments.


Core Principles:

  • Implement one change at a time

  • Focus on impairment, not difference

  • Work on things the person chooses (motivation matters)

  • Use upstream solutions prevent problems before they happen

  • Reward progress instead of punishing mistakes

  • Never use shame as a tool


The Big Six for Regulation

  1. MovementExercise helps ADHD more than any other psychiatric condition. It boosts dopamine and norepinephrine.

  2. SleepPoor sleep dramatically worsens ADHD symptoms.

  3. NutritionA healthy brain needs fuel: especially the frontal lobe.

  4. ConnectionSafe, loving relationships regulate the nervous system.

  5. Meditation / Stress ReductionStress amplifies vulnerabilities.

  6. Medication (when chosen)Medication is a tool, not a failure and consistency with it matters.


Daily Strategies That Actually Work

  • Write everything down

  • Use daily checklists broken into tiny steps

  • Follow simple routines

  • Put items where you need them, not where they “should” go

  • Create backups for frequently lost items

  • Control your environment (put things where they go)

  • Use visual stimulation (color, fonts, visuals)

  • Take short breaks

  • Reward effort

  • Use gentle accountability

One fun tip from the book:Sing routine transitions: singing activates memory differently than speaking.


Supporting Someone With ADHD (Especially Kids)

When supporting someone with ADHD:

  • Connect before you correct

  • Be curious, not critical

  • Match expectations to skills

  • Praise effort frequently

  • Use small, achievable goals

A powerful reminder:

ADHD behaviors happen when expectations exceed skills.

Parents matter enormously.Set your child up for success then step back and let them shine. It is so important to remember:

Parent the child you have, not the child you thought you’d have.


Final Thoughts


This book is:

  • Easy to read

  • Funny and compassionate

  • Visually engaging

  • Incredibly validating

I loved the color-coding, images, and the way Penn openly shares his “squirrel moments.” If you’ve ever felt like your brain never stops moving this book gets it.


My favorite line sums it up perfectly:

“I have ADHD but ADHD does not have me.”








Bottom line:

Essential reading for:

  • Parents of kids with ADHD

  • Adults with ADHD

  • Teachers, caregivers, and partners

  • Anyone who wants to understand neurodivergent brains better


If you don’t have time to read it, I hope this summary helps.If you do have time to read the book it is totally worth it.


 
 
 

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