Go Mom Yourself: How to Love Your Kids Without Losing You

Allison Lloyd
May 13, 2025
2 min read

Taking inspiration from Dr Morgan Cutlip's book:

Love Your Kids without Losing Yourself

Let’s be honest: being a mom often feels like becoming everyone but yourself. You love your kids fiercely, you give your all, but somewhere between snacks and soccer practice, bedtime routines and big emotions you disappear.

If you’ve ever felt like your identity has become just “Mom,” you’re not alone. And you’re not doing it wrong. But it might be time to mother yourself, too.

Inspired by Dr. Morgan Cutlip’s powerful book, Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself, this post is your reminder, and your permission slip, to stop running on empty and start reconnecting with who you are underneath it all.

We Mom So Hard But at What Cost?

From the time we’re little girls, we’re taught to nurture. So we grow up, become mothers, and pour all of ourselves into our families. We become the “default parent,” the fixer, the peacekeeper, the one who remembers everything.

And while that love is beautiful, it’s also exhausting.

Burnout doesn’t happen because you’re weak. It happens because you’re human.

Mother Yourself First

Here’s the truth: When you flourish, your kids flourish. When you grow, your kids grow.

Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s survival. And more than that, it’s modeling. You are teaching your children what it looks like to have boundaries, to rest, to be whole. Set the example. Take the last piece of cake. Go pee in peace. Take the vacation.

You’re not just allowed to! You must!

The Relationship Attachment Model (RAM): A Game Changer

Dr. Cutlip breaks down what healthy relationships (with others and with yourself) really need:

Know – Understand your values, your emotions, and your needs.
Trust – Build a belief in your own worth and reliability.
Rely – You weren’t meant to carry this alone. Let others support you.
Commit – Use your energy where it matters. And then rest.
Touch – Reconnect with your body, your stress responses, your joy.

This model isn’t just for couples. It’s a roadmap for re-connecting with you.

Big Lessons (That Might Be Hard to Hear)

You will lose yourself in motherhood. But you can always find your way back.
You’re not too much.
You’re not needy.
You don’t have to give everything away to be a good mom.

You’re allowed to feel peace in your own home. To chase what lights you up. To eat a hot meal without guilt.

Go Mom Yourself: 3 Ways to Start Today

Set a “You” Alarm – Once a day, stop and ask: What do I need right now? Make yourself a priority.
Say Yes to Rest – Take a nap. Say no. Cancel the thing. Choose stillness over constant hustle.
Pursue the Spark – What lights you up? A hobby? A dream? Start small, but start.