Ultimate Life Skills for Epic Tweens by Vivian Foster

Allison Lloyd
Apr 20
3 min read

Raising Epic Tweens: Real-Life Skills to Build Confidence, Resilience, and Connection

As a mom of tween and teen, I’m always looking for ways to raise confident, capable, and kind humans, but let's be honest, that job doesn’t come with a manual (unless you count the parenting books stacked next to my bed). One of my recent reads, Ultimate Life Skills for Epic Tweens by Vivian Foster, left me feeling so inspired that I had to share some of the biggest takeaways.

Think of this as the modern mom's survival guide for raising tweens who can cook a meal, manage their money, bounce back from setbacks, and make meaningful friendships — all while figuring out who they are in this messy, beautiful world.

🧼 Life Skills Are Not Optional

Let’s start here: tweens are capable of so much more than we often give them credit for. This is the perfect age to start handing over some real-world responsibilities and no, I don’t just mean chores for the sake of chores.

We're talking:

Cooking: Even simple things like scrambling eggs or making a sandwich builds confidence.
Cleaning: Yes, it matters. Kids feel pride when they know how to keep their spaces clean and organized.
Budgeting: This one hit home for me. Helping our kids understand money and not just spending it is a huge lesson. Give them a little control over their own spending (with limits) and let them make small mistakes now, not big ones later.

These skills aren’t about perfection. They’re about giving kids the tools to eventually adult with confidence.

🎯 Goals, Growth, and the Power of “Yet”

One of my favorite messages from the book is the idea that we, as parents, can help our kids build a growth mindset. It’s not just an educational buzzword; it’s a way of seeing the world that can shape how they handle everything from math homework to major life challenges.

Some of my go-to reminders:

“You don’t get it yet.”
“Your brain can grow stronger.”
“It’s okay to not be good at something right away.”

We can model this too by talking out loud about when you’re trying something new or when things don’t go perfectly. Effort over results. Always!

Also, it’s okay to let your kid try a sport or activity just because they’re curious. They don’t have to be the next Olympic athlete or spelling bee champ to gain something valuable from the experience.

🧠 Resilience: The Real Superpower

Let’s be honest, the world is tough sometimes, and our tweens are feeling it. Teaching them how to bounce back, handle stress, and keep going is probably one of the most important gifts we can give them.

Resilient kids:

Have purpose and goals.
Know how to solve problems.
Can calm themselves when things get overwhelming.
Ask for help when they need it.

We can build that resilience by:

Helping them face their fears (even the little ones).
Teaching them perspective; there’s more than one way to see a situation.
Encouraging gratitude and kindness (yes, even toward themselves).
Keeping a solid daily routine; structure helps more than we think.

👯 Making (and Keeping) Friends

Social skills are life skills. Full stop. The tween years are a wild mix of shifting friendships and changing dynamics, and our kids need tools to navigate them.

What they need to know:

Everyone has different personalities and that’s okay!
Friendships take effort (and forgiveness and understanding).
The best traits in a friend? Empathy, presence, trust, support, and loyalty.
Disagreements happen in every relationship. The trick is learning how to handle them without burning bridges.

We can help by talking openly about what makes a good friend, modeling healthy relationships ourselves, and staying in tune with what’s happening in their social world (without micromanaging it).

🧭 Our Job as Parents

At the end of the day, we can’t do it all for them. But we can:

Lead by example.
Allow them to make decisions, even if they don’t always get it right.
Be their safe place, while also gently pushing them toward independence.

Our tweens are growing up in a world that moves fast, changes constantly, and doesn’t always feel kind. But with the right tools and love and guidance our kids can thrive.

And that is what raising epic tweens is all about