Week 11: Quiet Dinners, Big Feelings, and Girl Dinner Therapy

Dinners 34–36.

This week kicked off with the first day back to school after a two-week spring break. That first morning always feels like a shock to the system, but both kids got up without a fuss and started the week strong. After school pick-up was a different story. They were clearly exhausted, and I knew they were going to need extra grace and patience.

Right now, we're in a rare season with no afterschool activities. On one hand, it’s a welcome pause. But on the other hand, I’ve noticed how easy it is to let a bit of downtime turn into six hours of screen time. That’s something I’m working on being more mindful of.

We had dinner together on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. The kids showed up to the table, we chatted, but it was clear their minds were already drifting back to their screens. I could feel it in the room, and honestly, it was hard to connect.

Why Screen Time Matters

The importance of setting screen time boundaries is backed by research. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, excessive screen time is linked to sleep disturbances, higher rates of obesity, reduced academic performance, and lower emotional well-being. One 2021 study published in JAMA Pediatrics found that kids who spent more than two hours a day on recreational screen use were more likely to have behavioral problems and decreased cognitive functioning.

It’s not just about reducing screen time; it’s about replacing that time with meaningful moments. Like dinner.

Still, dinner conversation felt hard this week, and I’ll own that. This was the week we filed paperwork with the court to finalize our divorce. Mentally, I was doing gymnastics just to stay present. Even when I thought I was holding it together, I know my kids could feel the shift.

Kids Know

Kids are intuitive. They sense when something’s off. Even if they don’t ask questions, the energy change can show up in their behavior. Acting out, withdrawing, becoming extra clingy; it’s all their way of processing what they feel but can’t name. This week, I think they were carrying my stress even if they didn’t know exactly why.

It was also a weekend with their dad. My daughter has been struggling with visits lately. She didn’t want to go, so I dropped off her brother and she stayed with me. That choice brought up a lot of feelings for all of us.

In the beginning, my daughter was hopeful that the divorce would help her have a better relationship with her dad, while my son was angry. Now, those roles have reversed. She’s carrying the frustration, and my son is starting to build something new with his dad. Watching it unfold has been complex and emotional.

Supporting Kids Through Co-Parenting

When my son returns from weekends with his dad, I never interrogate him. I just let him share what he wants to. Research supports this approach. According to a 2018 study in the Journal of Family Psychology, children benefit most when parents respect the boundaries between homes and avoid pressuring kids to report on the other parent. It helps maintain their mental and emotional stability and fosters a stronger sense of security in both environments.

So instead of asking questions, I simply receive whatever they want to share. I’m here to listen, not to dig.

Girl Dinner, 90s Movies & Quiet Connection

While my son was away, my daughter and I had some one-on-one time. We created our own version of “girl dinner": our favorite Starbucks drinks and random leftovers from the fridge. We watched 10 Things I Hate About You, one of my favorite movies from college. We did a little shopping. We had lunch out. And we rested. Getting ready for the next school week is a large part of our weekend.

It wasn’t a big, elaborate weekend. But it was what we needed.

I’m learning that connection over dinner doesn’t always look like everyone sitting around a table with a well-balanced, home-cooked meal. Sometimes it looks like curling up on the couch with leftovers and a nostalgic movies. Sometimes it’s quiet, sometimes it’s chaotic. But every moment matters.

This week, like all the others, gave us something to grow from.

We keep showing up. We keep eating together. We keep moving forward.