Week 12 of my year of 100 Family Dinners

Learning to Say No, Choosing Peace, and Still Showing Up for Dinner

March 30 – April 5 Four dinners together this week. It was me and the kids at our kitchen counter.

This year, I set a goal: 100 family dinners. A chance to slow down, reconnect, and build something consistent in a time when a lot of other things feel up in the air. But if I’m being honest, this week wasn’t a great one for dinners. Not in the “we tried new meals” or “I crushed dinner planning” kind of way. Nope — we had spaghetti and tacos. Again. Every week now.

The intention was there, but the follow-through... not so much. Life was busy, and dinner creativity took a back seat. And honestly, I’m learning to give myself a little grace for that. Every week won’t be Pinterest-perfect. This week wasn’t about variety on the plate — it was about showing up, even when things are hard.

A Different Kind of First

This week was their dad’s birthday; the first one since we separated and filed for divorce. That added a whole different emotional layer to the week. When my birthday came a few months ago, he didn’t do anything. A last-minute, “Do the kids need help doing something?” came 24 hours before. I declined. I didn’t want or need help. I was still processing. (And I had already taken care of everything.)

But this time, for his birthday, I helped the kids pick out thoughtful gifts. We wrapped them. I made space for their love for him, even while I’m learning how to hold boundaries for myself.

Plans shifted (of course they did), and I bent a little by changing meetings and reworking my day. But I also stood firm. He picked up the kids for dinner, and then texted to ask if I could come pick them up from his house. I said no. That wasn’t the plan. He asked again. I told him yes, I’m saying no.

And that was a big moment for me. Because I’m used to giving everything. But now? I’m focused on giving everything to my kids: not to situations that drain me, not to dynamics that don't serve us.

Saying no is new for me. Holding boundaries is new for me. But I’m learning every day. Practicing, every day. With new situations and making dinner with the kids essential; even when they don't want to have dinner with me.

Dinner Isn’t Always Memorable — But It’s Always Meaningful

Like I said, the food wasn’t anything special this week. But we still sat together. We still talked. And that matters.

One night, my son didn’t want to come to the table. He was mad. About what? I don’t even remember probably something very teen typical. My daughter, who's used to our dinner rhythm, looked at him and said, “We do this almost every day. Why are you upset about it?”

I didn’t force a lecture or drag out the conflict. I just stayed steady. I asked him to come to dinner, and he did. That was enough. We sat. We ate. I kept the conversation going. And by the end of the meal, we were all chatting again, voices at normal volume, honesty at normal levels, teen cheerfulness as good as it gets.

That’s the thing I’m trying to teach my kid and remind myself of too: 

It's okay to get upset. 

It's okay to say no. 

It's okay to talk it out. 

And it's okay to move on.

We don’t need to hold grudges. We don’t need to freeze each other out. We talk. We eat. We reconnect. That’s the practice. That’s the dinner table.

And so, even in a week with recycled meals and recycled emotions. I still call it a win.

Because we showed up.

Because we sat down.

Because we kept choosing each other.

Week 12. ✅