My Year of 100 Family Dinners Week 35: Dinner #82 #81

Driving Teens, Girl Dinners, and Growing Through Co-Parenting

This was another full week. The kind where the calendar feels like a matching game: football, drama club, doctor appointments, school-based OT, and dance class. We were here, there, and everywhere, but somehow we made it work.

One thing I’ve been grateful for lately is having a teenager who drives. My son can take himself to and from football practice, and when it’s time to go to his dad’s house, he’s able to take himself and his sister. It has definitely eased the pressure in our co-parenting rhythm and it gives him something he loves: freedom. He can stop by to have lunch with his dad, run over after school for an hour, or stay for dinner without it turning into a logistical production.

And honestly? It has made things easier for everyone.

I’m deeply aware of what a privilege it is to have a car adapted with a left-foot gas pedal so he can drive independently. Every time I watch him grab the keys and live life on his own terms; safely, confidently, I am grateful.

We started this week strong: Sunday dinner together, Monday dinner together. Two real dinners. Two chances to sit down, breathe, and share life at the table. After that, the busy evenings started rolling again, practices, rehearsals, and everything in between and dinners together became a “when we’re home” situation, not a “when we’re together” situation.

Still, good things found their way in.

My daughter chose not to go to her dad’s house this weekend, and that stirred up some tension. Co-parenting feels like a perpetual learning curve where some weeks I’m great about communicating updates, and other weeks I’m just trying to keep my head above water. I’m still adjusting, still growing, still learning.

Since my son was with his dad, my daughter and I had girl dinner: Starbucks and a movie. We usually pick something I loved as a teen: 10 Things I Hate About You, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off but this time we watched The Nona’s on Netflix, a story I’d heard about on a podcast years ago and had been dying to see. We curled up, laughed, talked, and paused the movie ten times to comment. It wasn’t a traditional dinner, but it was connection. And that’s what matters.

Co-Parenting Is Tough and Worth It

Co-parenting is definitely not intuitive. It’s not something that “just happens.” It takes effort, patience, and the willingness to learn new skills no one ever taught us. Parenting is already a big job; co-parenting simply adds another layer to navigate. But when we do the work, our kids benefit.

Here are 4 Tips for Successful Co-Parenting 

• Keep communication kid-focused and respectful.Avoid letting old hurts steer conversations. Keep the focus on what’s best for the children.HelpGuide.org

• Stay consistent and coordinated in parenting plans.Kids thrive with predictable routines, similar expectations, and clarity across both homes.HelpGuide.org

• Treat co-parenting like a team effort.When parents act together as a child’s “team,” kids adjust better and show stronger social and emotional outcomes.The Family Institute at Northwestern

• Respect and support the other parent’s role.Speak positively or neutrally in front of your kids about their other parent, and keep transitions calm.OurFamilyWizard

The Heart of This Week

Two dinners together. A dozen activities. Tricky co-parenting moments. Car rides, practices, and quick hugs in between. This week reminded me that connection doesn’t always look like a picture-perfect family meal; sometimes it looks like Starbucks cups and a movie at home, a teen driving to practice on his own, or a daughter choosing to stay close when life feels complicated. We’re building family in real time, in real life, inside the chaos and it’s still beautiful. The goal has never been perfection. The goal is to stay connected, keep showing up, and love our kids through every season.