My Year of 100 Family Dinners Week 49: Dinners 128, 129

Why Connection Is the Foundation for Everything

And just like that, we reached the last week of school before winter break.

This week was full in the familiar ways: rehearsals, dance winter showcase, doctor appointments, and the usual rhythm of our days.

Rehearsal took over many afternoons, and I loved watching my kids light up in their roles. My daughter was on stage, and my son was behind the scenes in the sound booth. Both of them were excited in their own way, and I loved seeing them share something meaningful, even from different spaces.

Creating a New Normal

We’re also moving into the holiday season, which always carries its own emotions.

This is our second year celebrating Christmas as a family of three. Early in the divorce process, the psychologist we worked with offered advice that has stayed with me: you can’t go back to what was, so don’t try. Create something new.

That advice shaped everything.

Last year, we started a new tradition: the 12 Days of Christmas. Instead of all the gifts on one day, we open one gift each day leading up to Christmas. This year, we did it again. The first day included a special Christmas breakfast and gifts, and then one small gift each day after.

The kids enjoy it.And more importantly, it feels like ours.

This is the new normal. Not better or worse: just different. And different can still be really, really good.

Dinner Looks Different This Week

This week’s schedule shaped how dinners happened.

My son went to his dad’s house from Thursday through Sunday, which meant our family dinners were Sunday and Monday. The rest of the week was full of activities, rehearsals, and quieter nights at home with just my daughter.

When it’s just the two of us, we lean into our traditions.

Girl dinner: Starbucks and whatever we have in the fridge.A movie playing in the background while we make something together.

We’ve built flower LEGO sets. She crochets while I sit nearby and knit. This week, we watched Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (one of those movies I loved growing up and now love sharing with her.)

That time matters.

Why Connection-Based Parenting Matters

Connection-based parenting is the foundation of how I parent.

Research in child development consistently shows that strong parent–child connection builds emotional safety, which leads to better communication, emotional regulation, and resilience especially during adolescence. Studies rooted in attachment theory (including work by Bowlby and later research supported by the American Academy of Pediatrics) emphasize that kids who feel securely connected to their caregivers are more likely to:

• open up during difficult conversations

• accept guidance and boundaries

• manage stress more effectively

• maintain strong relationships as they grow older

I think of connection like money in the bank.

When you invest consistently; during calm moments, ordinary moments, fun moments, you have something to draw from when life gets hard. When you need to talk about school struggles, medical issues, friendships, or big life transitions, you aren’t starting from zero. You’re standing on a foundation of trust.

That’s what these small moments are building.

The Heart of This Week

This week didn’t come with big dinners or big milestones.

It came with shared routines, quiet traditions, and intentional time, sometimes with both kids, sometimes with just one. And that’s okay.

Two dinners.A lot of connection.And a reminder that parenting isn’t about doing more, it's about staying connected.

As we head into winter break and the holidays, I’m holding onto this truth: connection doesn’t require perfection. It just requires showing up again and again.

And that will always be worth it. 💛