My Year of 100 Family Dinners Week 50: Dinners #130–132

Letting Go of Expectations and Holding On to What Matters

I can’t believe this was the last week of school before winter break.

2025 has been one of the hardest years of my life and somehow it has absolutely flown by. Here we are again, finishing school, rehearsals, packing for Christmas, and closing out a year that changed everything.

Both kids had play rehearsals this week. My son is running sound, my daughter has her roles, and I love seeing them invested in something bigger than themselves. We had doctor appointments, work meetings, a dance showcase, and all the regular pieces that fill a December week.

It was busy but not chaotic.

And that feels new.

Three Dinners and a Little Extra Intention

We managed three family dinners together: Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday.

Wednesday dinners have become important. Everyother week it’s the night before my son goes to his dad’s house, and I’ve grown protective of that last little stretch of time together. I like knowing we sat down, looked at each other, laughed, and connected before we split for a few days.

We’ve also been opening one gift each day leading up to Christmas, continuing our 12 Days tradition. I wanted to make sure we opened the gifts for that day before my son packed his bag. He heads to his dad’s Thursday through Sunday, then comes back home Sunday night so we can leave for my mom’s house Monday.

It’s a constant shuffle but it’s ours.

Stability Feels Like a Gift

The biggest quiet blessing this week? My son’s health has been stable. My daughter is doing well. Things are slowing down just a little.

After months of uncertainty, slowing down feels like exhaling.

Letting Go of What Doesn’t Matter

Christmas always brings pressure.

The presents. The parties. The expectations.

I had planned to do Christmas cards this year. I had the picture picked out. I had every intention of mailing them. And then one day I realized: I don’t have the bandwidth.

And instead of pushing through, I let it go.

A few years ago, I don’t think I could have done that. I was raised in a high-demand religion, and for most of my life, I did many things because I believed they were expected of me. Expected by society. Expected by family. Expected by faith. Expected by myself.

This year has stripped things down.

It has clarified what actually matters.

Connection. Health. My work in parent coaching and child advocacy. And making sure my children feel safe, loved, and steady through divorce.

Everything else is extra.

Why Connection Matters So Much During Divorce

Research consistently shows that what protects kids most during divorce is not perfection, it’s parental warmth and secure connection.

Studies published by the American Psychological Association and researchers like Dr. Joan Kelly show that children who maintain strong, consistent emotional bonds with at least one primary caregiver during and after divorce:

• adjust more successfully emotionally

• experience less long-term anxiety and depression

• show stronger academic outcomes

• maintain healthier future relationships

What makes the difference isn’t elaborate holidays. It isn’t flawless co-parenting. It isn’t maintaining every old tradition. It’s emotional availability. It’s predictable connection. It’s sitting down for dinner on an ordinary Wednesday.

Every meal feels like a deposit in the bank of trust.

And during divorce, those deposits matter more than ever.

The Heart of This Week

This wasn’t a flashy week. It was packing bags. Driving to rehearsals. Opening small presents. Saying no to things that drain me. Three dinners. A little more calm.

And the deep realization that letting go of expectations has made space for the things that truly matter.

As we move into Christmas, I don’t feel perfectly prepared. But I do feel clear.

I am choosing connection.

And that feels like enough. 💛